My 8-year-old can be really “forgetful”. I seem to have to always remind him to flush after using the toilet. If you send him on an errand from the sitting room to the bedroom, he will most likely come back empty handed. I have lost count of all the things he “forgets”. I guess what is most worrying is “forgetting” what he has learnt in school.   

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There’s practically nothing we celebrate today that our kids don’t get to hear about through the internet or television. I have had my little ones asked countless time today ‘’what is it about women’s day’’?.  Yes, today’s kids are very much current, all thanks to technology.  So, how would you put your child especially your female child through today’s celebration of international women’s day? What are the most important things your daughter needs to know about being a girl?  

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Imagine what life will be 15 years from now with all the innovations and advancements as well as uncertainties. One thing is crystal clear: A career in science, technology, engineering and maths (STEM) offers so much for our children; opportunity, the chance to shape our world and job stability in an increasingly tech-focused marketplace.

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So really this topic reminds me of how I was booed severally back then in secondary school during every inter class football competition.  I was the typical example of “short one’’. (short one is a term used for someone who is unfit in the team). 

Yes, each time our team plays, I ended up being the topic of discussion because it was either I caused the error that led to our defeat or I missed a goal that could have earned us the victory.  There were times that my mates told me football wasn’t my thing, so I should just save myself the incessant embarrassments by forcing myself on the team. Who would have thought that a onetime misfit could ever win the prize of the highest goal scorer in the subsequent inter class football competition?

The little difference between people who give up easily and those that stretch further is their mindset.  Growth mindset is about how we face and overcome challenges in our everyday life.  In most cases, people with this kind of mindset had it infused in them from the very early stage of their lives and as such, they believe their abilities can improve with time. Most people have the other (fixed) mindset – I will never be good at maths. I am short so basketball is only for tall people. Not everyone was born to draw.  

Fixed mindset believes that talent is inherited and you either have it or NOT. There is nothing you can do to change it. Which mindset do you want for your child? Growth mindset? Yes? Great!!!! 

A child who struggles with mathematics and has scored low severally in same would probably assume he/she is bad at mathematics and rather than trying to improve on that, he would put his strength into other areas is a child with a fixed mindset. The one that has trouble playing with figures but continues to improve demonstrates a growth mindset. 

Growth mindset is a social learning process that parents can help their kids to develop overtime. With these five tips, you might as well be on your way to raising a child with a growth mindset.

• Praise properly 

Remember that a child is 5 times more likely to repeat an action that received positive feedback from his parent.  However, avoid praising your child for their intelligence or natural ability.  Doing this makes them think they are born with it and can as well discourage them from additional effort. 

• Embrace their mistakes:

Help your kids see mistakes as new discovery rather than failures.  Encourage them to learn from the mistakes by being curious. For instance, ask questions like why didn’t it work this time?  What can you do to avoid this next time? Employ languages that make challenges and setbacks look normal rather than big deals. 

• Set high standard;

Many people believe that lowering expectation boost self-esteem, in some cases this is not always so.  Setting the bar high sometimes shows that you believe and have faith in their ability and this in turn makes them believe in themselves. Encourage them to leave their comfort zones and embrace challenges.

• Avoid spoon-feeding;

Helping your kids out all the time with their problems can only create in them a dependent mentality. Rather than making the answers available, ask them open ended questions regarding the problem, for instance what you think will happen if or why do you suppose.  These questions help them in their thinking skills and in most cases leads to rich discovery. 

Encourage them to be resilient and never give up even when it is frustrating.

In their early lives, kids need to come to term with the fact that good achievements are products of hard work, efforts and perseverance. Encourage them to not give up when things get hard and tell them that if they can’t do something now, it doesn’t mean they never will. Getting better takes time but improving is guaranteed. Share stories of other people’s successes. And teach them that it is better not to accept NO and IMPOSSIBLE.

People that have gone on to do great things all had a growth mindset. It is mission critical to nurture this mindset in your child. I wish I had had this mindset much earlier.

If you enjoyed this post, why not click the links below to read our top 3 blog posts selected for you to nurture your child to be the very best they can be.

IS YOUR CHILD GETTING FAT ON “DIGITAL JUNK”?

WHAT TO DO IF YOUR CHILD IS THE BULLY

Have You Spoken to Your Child About Addiction and Substance Abuse?

Do you spank your kids when they misbehave? Those exasperating moments when we feel like “I can’t believe you just did that” and boom, you drag the child closer to do the judgement accordingly …you relate? Typical African mother style. Does it stop the child from repeating such act next time?

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2019 is my year of raising the bar in my intentional parenting and STEM is one focus area. Why you may ask?

I worry if my son is achieving the right balance between getting excellent grades, really understanding the topic and the love of learning. Grades and test results are the huge focus in education today, which hinder kids from getting enough of the inspiring hands-on learning that leads to lasting interest.
I hope you can join on our journey to demystifying STEM and have fun doing it. 

One of the first thing I decided in our STEM challenge is to visit more museums when we go on vacation. Museums you say?  I used to have the same feeling till I visited the Children’s Museum in Houston. My husband and I were like two kids given a blank cheque in a candy store.  The pulley I struggled to learn in secondary school finally made sense when I saw it in action.

Museums offer opportunities to learn about the history of technology, how things were made. So on your next vacation to London, make sure you visit some museums – Science Museum, British Museum, Natural History Museum to name a few others.
Taking a cue from what my kids are covering this term (Materials, Forces in Action, Electricity, etc), here are the first five STEM experiments we will be kicking off

•    Sink or Float with Oranges
•    Rain in a Jar
•    Making a Bottle Rocket
•    Making Rainbow Rubber Egg
•    Building your Paper Plane

If you would like to join our STEM Challenge – Click below to download our free eBook with the first 5 experiments of our STEM journey.

Download Free STEM Activity eBook

Appreciating My Child’s Teacher This Valentine Season

When I try to teach my child’s anything, it can be so frustrating. So, I usually wait till they have been taught in school, then I help reinforce. This has made me appreciate my son’s teacher and teachers in general. Being with my own child for 8 hours tires me out, I can imagine what it looks like to manage 20 kids in a class for 8hours.  You need a super human patience, honestly.

So, even though it’s not Teacher Appreciation Day but valentine’s season seems like a good time to teach my children about loving people and not taking people around us for granted. By watching me give gifts of love and kindness to my friends and loved ones especially in this season, they will learn the act of appreciating people who matter in their lives. Teachers are a shining star, a beaming smile, and a loving heart in the lives of our kids and making their teachers something special this season that is all about love for others is a perfect way to make them feel appreciated

Here are few tips on how you can appreciate your child’s teacher this season of love with a budget of N5000 and under.

•  A small box of chocolates (which is around N3k) with a handmade card is a good choice. Let your child sign the card with sweet words to make the teacher feel excited and motivated. Most people love chocolates and this they can share with their own children or just eat it alone ((like I would so because I love chocolate so much)

• A fruit basket. This looks simple and ordinary but trust me, they will appreciate this simple gesture because you took the time to do it. The fact your child is the one delivering it also makes it more amazing and it helps your child bond well with his/her teacher. I suggest buy N1,000 apples, N2,000 grapes and throw in a pineapple (N200) and watermelon (N900), you will remain under budget.

• Buy them lunch. Teachers get tired of eating cafeteria food or bringing their lunch. Surprise them with a pizza or a cake to be delivered to them by the maker in your child’s name. A medium pizza is N3500 and a little cake you can get for N4,500 (we are still within budget – yippee)

• Buy them Ankara. If you notice your child’s teacher loves Ankara fabric, you can get her a lovely piece of fabric – these range from at low at N2000 to N5,500. I will go with the N5k ones though, that way you are sure as she wears it, she will always remember the giver.

• Are you active on social media? More teachers are on social media today. You could search them by their names on Instagram or Facebook and tag them to a post. Let them know how much you appreciate all the things they do. It doesn’t always have to be about material thing

• Send them an email or write a letter of appreciation. It does not have to be a novel but tell them how much you appreciate them or let them know what kind of impact they have made in your child’s life. For me, this is the BEST GIFT you can give to appreciate anyone. I know I always appreciate it when someone tell me they love my work or how much what I do impacts them.

Let Valentine season not go without you showing your child how to love people that impact their lives and love them you would be surprised how this lesson will turn around and remind them to NEVER FORGET TO APPRECIATE THEIR PARENTS TOO.

If you love our posts, don’t keep it to yourself, check out our other posts at https://9ijakids.com/blog and share with other parents that you think would really enjoy it too.

In case you missed them, you can check out three of our most popular posts by clicking the link below:

THE RACE IS ON!!! WHAT YOUR CHILD CAN LEARN FROM THE ELECTIONS CLICK HERE

My Son’s Future Valentine . CLICK HERE

How Do You Get Kids Interested In STEM? CLICK HERE

Countdown to Valentine Day has started. I look at my son who is just 10yrs, and valentine currently means little or nothing to him. I know in a few years he will join the ‘Valentine Love Train”. I can’t help but wonder about his future girlfriend/spouse. This thought sometimes frightens me because apart from accepting Jesus as His Lord and Saviour, this is the next most important decision he will make that guarantees a good and happy life. I want above all for it to be the right decision. With increasing rates of divorces, spouses killing each other, depression, dysfunctional homes and children, I am scared.

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No matter your political belief, the elections are a big deal. And chances are that your child has begun to hear or notice posters, slogans, T-shirts and even news coverage. Election Day is a great opportunity to teach kids how voting works and why it’s important for everyone to have a say when it comes to important issues like this.  As parents, it’s part of our responsibilities to teach our children that voting is not just a right; it is a responsibility, and everyone must participate in it.

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An added benefit of STEM is that it fosters that love of learning. Instilling that passion and drive to learn is at its most crucial stage for children ages 5-11years.

The best way to foster a love of STEM is to encourage curiosity. From a young age encourage kids to question, to explore and to play. Find their passions and help them chase those passions. You will be amazed where your kids can go when they become passionate about learning.

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