Most children feel uncomfortable talking to their parents about sex. They would prefer to turn to their friends or media for information. However, information received from these sources can be wrong and they could be misinformed. As a parent, you are the most important educator on the subject because it’s an avenue to discuss it in light of your values. If you also think talking about sex with your kids can be intimidating, you are not alone. Parents worry that talking about sex will encourage their child to be curious and want to give a try, however, it’s better to think of the consequences (teenage pregnancy. STD, etc) of not talking to them about it. Also, studies show that teenagers who talk to their parents about sex are more likely to postpone sexual activities and use protection
As they enter teenagerhood, the pressure intensifies as most of them become aware of their body, become curious and sexually aware. So, at what age should you have the “birds and bees” discussion beyond good and bad touch?? As early as 8 and latest by 10 years you must have started the conversation and continuously hitting on it .
Here are 10 key things to note as you have the talk
#1 Don’t assume what they know, starting by giving them the facts – male & female reproductive systems, puberty, sexual intercourse, pregnancy, birth control, abstinence, safe sex and HIV/AIDS and other STD
#2 Everyone is NOT having sex, this is a myth. Teens often believe that all their friends are having sex. This belief puts pressure on teens (especially boys) to have sex.
#3 Share your values regarding sex – we believe in abstinence. Give them a biblical perspective and let them understand the essence and place of sex.
#4 Tell them why it is necessary to wait. Discuss with them reasons to wait to have sex and ways to handle pressure from others to have sex.
#5 Children want to be wanted and loved. You need to reinforce this message and the fact that there are ways to show affection that doesn’t involve having sex.
#6 Ask questions – find out if any of their friends have started dating, what do they know about sex, etc
#7 Remind them of the power of NO. Never to do anything she/he doesn’t want to do. It is okay to be a virgin and they should never be ashamed for taking a stand for what they believe.
#8 Be approachable and let them understand that they can always talk to you about anything. Most teenagers are afraid to ask their parents questions for fear of being wrongly accused of “having sex”.
# 9 Talk with your teen about sex on an ongoing basis. Let your teen know that you are always open and willing to talk about any questions or concerns they may have about sex.
#10 Lastly, when your children share their feelings with you, praise them for it. Correct misinformation gently and reinforce your values whenever possible.
